May 2, 2008

Dating in LA

Dating in LA...or should I say, dating at MY age is very much like being the last kid picked for kickball, in grade school. The ads read..."where are all the normal women?" or "must be thin (size 0-2), fit, love sports, not be a gold-digger, be sensual, willing to accomodate my massive tool, intelligent, blonde, busty, NOT A BBW, able to carry on a conversation, deeply spiritual, 420 friendly...and willing to swallow." Pretty simple, right?

Well, this is how I see it (and how I responded to the inquiry quoted below):

That woman you're looking for…the "smart, centered, compassionate woman age 25 to 40 looking for a SERIOUS relationship? A strong, independent woman with a good heart who embraces life? A woman who totally Gets It -- Capital 'G', Capital 'I'. A woman that a man can BELIEVE IN, who understands that the ultimate goal is lasting love and a life well-spent?"

Well, let me tell you about her. She's actually a bit older now. Surely she's wiser. Between the ages of 25-35, she was participating in, or on the receiving end of all the childish b.s. out there. She probably married the perpetrator. She may have had children with him. She was pretty sure that she had found the guy you describe yourself to be, but time, growth, and life experience has a way of tweaking our expectations.

If she was smart, somewhere between 35 and 40-something, she finally grew a spine and made the appropriate changes. If not, well….we all know how that ends up. I'm sure you've encountered her once or twice.

So now she's either single again, or still single. Still funny and sexy (if not sexier); still looking to get together with someone; even if it's for nothing more than just to pass the time. The men she meets that are her age have more issues than Life magazine, and are more than a little scary. She tends to attract younger men as a general rule, which is great (and she's thankful) but that comes with its own set of land mines. If she has children, and is attentive to the issues inherent in bringing someone else into the mix...the dating pool narrows significantly.

She's self supporting, so she works a lot, doesn't have many opportunities to meet and greet. She then takes a deep cleansing breath and jumps on the internet dating bandwagon. There, she is amazed and appalled at the number of men who are married, but sem to have forgotten that little fact; the men who think that sending pictures of their "package" is the way to her heart. Because she's a funny person, she collects them and plans to animate them (with little mouths so that they'll sing) for future use on a website she hopes to put up about the wackiness of internet dating. She's witty and wise, silly, sarcastic, insightful, intelligent; someone you'd be happy to have as a friend, proud to have as a partner.

You've been looking for her everywhere and she was right there all along. You just have to look a little closer at the expiration date on the package.


Anonymous said...

funny! You made me smile despite recognizing myself, me and all my back issues of Life magazine.

Sissy said...

Glad you liked it...and I hope you've re-read all those back issues of Life Magazine; and then burned them in your fire-pit (while having the requisite Bass Ale).